Parent Conferences: Day 2

Today's conferences just ended at 7:30 p.m.  I had a late phone conference with a parent who works late.  I know that a lot of teachers insist on conferences in-person, but I don't attach that qualifier to the definition of a caring and involved parent.

I remember when my daughter was in school and it was time for parent conferences.  I was a full-time student, and I worked a full-time job. It wasn't a job that provided paid time off.  If I took off from work, I didn't make any money.  Most of my daughter's teachers didn't offer any options outside of regular hours, so many times, I was unable to attend.

When I became a teacher, I vowed to make it as easy as possible for my parents to reach me.  They all have my cell phone number, and a couple of them have called me at home just to touch bases or to follow up on a previous concern.  The students know that their parents and I have an open pipeline of communication, and it makes a difference.  My parents support me, I support my parents, and together we support our kids.  My communication with my parents is on-going, so parent conferences are just a culmination of what we have previous discussed "on the fly."  Here are today's highlights.

1. Marissa's mom requested a change to a phone conference to accommodate her work schedule.  She is a single mother with an inflexible work schedule.  We spoke during her lunch break. Marissa is boy crazy, and we need to get her focused.  She doesn't have much contact with her father, and that's part of the reason she is so focused on the attention of other males.  Not a good sign.
   
2. Jamal's doesn't read directions, and the content of his writing needs improvement.  The rest of his grades are good. Mom thought I was talking about his penmanship when I mentioned the poor quality of his writing. I don't worry too much about penmanship; it's good content that I'm after.  I have had students refuse to write because they were afraid of criticism about their penmanship.  Once that pressure was removed, they wrote wonderful and amazing stories.
   
3. Jesus has a stay-at-home Mom who does everything for him. He has no chores and no responsibilities.  He is a victim of "learned helplessness." His mother's whole life revolves around taking care of her children, but she is crippling him.  I asked her if she was going to follow him around for the rest of his life and do everything for him.  By the time we were finished, she was in tears and promised to back off and let Jesus grow up.
   
4. William's parents were a "no show."  He made Honor Roll, so I guess they didn't feel the need for a conference.
   
5. Maria's mother revealed that her husband is emotionally abusive, and that is why her daughter is so quiet and shy.  Maria witnessed much of the abuse and and sometimes hides behind her mother.  Dad was kicked out of the house, but recently returned with promises of improved behavior. Both the translator and I are concerned for the family's safety.
6. Madison is a beautiful, blond little girl who was playing the "dumb blond" role until we had a little talk. It turns out that she has overheard a lot of "dumb blond" jokes at home, and was therefore full of self doubt.  Both she and her mother were completely unaware of the connection.  This was her first report card with no D's.
7. Justin is a scatter-brained daydreamer who is highly creative and has a penchant for the macabre . His parents are stressed out thinking that he will never amount to anything.  I told them that he may be the next Steven King.
   
8. Cyril's Mom is an enabler and doesn't support Dad's discipline. Dad is putting his foot down on Cyril's grades, but is setting the bar too high. He expects Cyril to go from F's to A's overnight, which isn't practical and will only cause Cyril to give up. Cyril has anger issues because he is a "momma's boy" and Mom went back to work a few months ago.  His emotions get in the way of his progress.
   
9. Neal's mother wanted an evening phone conference. I left a message and am awaiting a return call...She returned my call and was delighted to hear that Neal made Honor Roll for the first time.  He is a disciplined, well-behaved, teachable child with excellent parental support.  He always - and I mean always - does his homework, listens in class, and follows directions.  Honor Roll was inevitable.